When Thought has No Enemy

I felt back-pain this morning probably caused by overexertion during last night's dance performance. I am feeling the aggravated version now because "the show had to go on" tonight. Then someone whom I have a special place in my heart for was hurt tonight by a third party whom I have no influence over. Because she has a special place in my heart, I could feel my body seep her pain while I was with her. It soon transformed into an energy that many are familiar with: anger. It entered my bloodstream, and I could feel it boiling within. Last time, I expended it by doing push-ups. I could do a hell lot more push-ups when I am pissed. Now, I dance the angry night away. I could pop and lock a hell lot more vigorously when I am pissed. But tonight, I can't do squat. Every time I try to groove, my back stings. Damned third-party. Damned back-pain. Now I know how all those accident victims feel when they are upset with "Why must this happen to me!?!?!" while not being able to scratch their backside about it.

I need to find a new way to get rid of this fiery-tornado within before it consumes me. Quench it through meditation? Haven't done that in a while. But why waste all this energy? Ah, yes, my dear blog. I've been groovin so much til I hardly have the time to write. Its about 3 a.m on a Sunday morning. Perfect time to start writing again. The fire energizes my fingers and my mind.

Action is the enemy of thought. For the past few weeks, I had so much action that I spent too little time contemplating, pondering and settling my the issues that I have picked up while engaging in all that action. But now that my back is screwed up, I can't engage in anymore action. It's just my head, my fingers, and my keyboard working to calm the ripples and waves of the sea within me.

Meeting Leaders

"Some men are born to lead, others are born to follow." That is an often-used cliche. Some people might disagree, arguing that leaders are made. Others have a different opinion. Despite my past experiences many of those leadership camps and self-improvement courses, only lately have I begun a serious inquiry into the issue of leadership. This was prompted by the many people from colourful walks of life whom I have had the privilege of encountering this year. Some I have met by my active search for new friends, others I have met by incidents that suggest some weaving done by the hands of fate. The first I met and the first I considered and criticized as a leader was the founder and is the "dance-director" of a dance ensemble that I have joined in university, called Flare Dance. She is also the first person whom I can consider as my dance instructor. Just like many other participants in the ensemble, the first thing that struck me about her was her voice. It was squeakish, high-pitched, and not something that I would like to hear too much of. Apart from her voice, she initially seemed like someone with strong leadership qualities. Passionate about her work, strong sense of character, very vocal, good at commanding attention, and expresses her sense of humour, although it doesn't have a universal appeal. But as I stayed longer with the ensemble, after hearing the experiences of others with her and having some experiences myself, I realised that the cake of leadership is much more than its icing. Some say that she manipulates the coordination of the ensembles activities to suit her desires, such as allocating the best dancers to her choreographed pieces. From my experiences, I just thinks she lacks an ability to establish a deep and personal connection with other dancers. So is a sense of selflessness a trait that leaders should have? (Unfinished... need sleep)